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today a woman at my work made a comment to me: "crista, if it is at all possible, i think that your waist is getting even smaller."
most of the women at my work are aware of the fact that i have issues with my body weight and that it is difficult for me to gain weight and maintain a healthy look.
it irritates me that people feel that telling someone they are "too thin" or "need to gain weight" is not as offensive and hurtful to a person as telling them they are "fat" or "should put down their fork".
it is really difficult for me to withold snide comments to people when they openly critique my body. usually the comments i hear are negative. just about a month ago one of the ladies at my work asked me: "do you have to shop in the little girls' department?" ------ huh? ----- i knew that time that it was not only me who thought that it was rude, because right afterwards another woman who had overheard her told her to "shut up". but i am a nice person, so even though i could use the opportunity to be cruel in return, i hold it in and just let it slide off of my back.
i don't know. i just hate it.
the other day i was watching the Tyra Banks show (yeah yeah i know but it's daytime TV and there aint sh!t on.) and they were talking about models with eating disorders. one of the guest speakers said something like: "i think that all clothing that is a size 0 or 1 should also have a tag on it somewhere that says "Anorexia and Bulemia are unhealthy"."
screw you! just because i wear a size 0 does NOT mean that i have an eating disorder!
if a thin person said that all plus sized clothing should have a tag on it that says "overeating is unhealthy" on national television, then the heavy people of the world would freak out.
most of the women at my work are aware of the fact that i have issues with my body weight and that it is difficult for me to gain weight and maintain a healthy look.
it irritates me that people feel that telling someone they are "too thin" or "need to gain weight" is not as offensive and hurtful to a person as telling them they are "fat" or "should put down their fork".
it is really difficult for me to withold snide comments to people when they openly critique my body. usually the comments i hear are negative. just about a month ago one of the ladies at my work asked me: "do you have to shop in the little girls' department?" ------ huh? ----- i knew that time that it was not only me who thought that it was rude, because right afterwards another woman who had overheard her told her to "shut up". but i am a nice person, so even though i could use the opportunity to be cruel in return, i hold it in and just let it slide off of my back.
i don't know. i just hate it.
the other day i was watching the Tyra Banks show (yeah yeah i know but it's daytime TV and there aint sh!t on.) and they were talking about models with eating disorders. one of the guest speakers said something like: "i think that all clothing that is a size 0 or 1 should also have a tag on it somewhere that says "Anorexia and Bulemia are unhealthy"."
screw you! just because i wear a size 0 does NOT mean that i have an eating disorder!
if a thin person said that all plus sized clothing should have a tag on it that says "overeating is unhealthy" on national television, then the heavy people of the world would freak out.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, May 8, 2007 - 3:58 PMCrista,
You are beautiful as you are... We all are. Don't let the jealous hags at work get you down!
Be yourself and be happy!!!
-Pete -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 10:48 AMthank you Pete! i appreciate that!
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, May 8, 2007 - 4:09 PMCrista..I don't know if this helps but you always look great in pics. Petite, but not unhealthy looking or "too thin". As a matter of fact I think you look about as close to just perfect as any one human has a right to. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 10:48 AMthank you Rich. that may be because the camera ads 10 lbs or however the saying goes.... my protruding hip bones would argue otherwise..... but overall i am generally happy with myself. i really don't think about it much until someone makes a comment to me about it. if no one commented on it i could go on living in bliss.
:)
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Wed, May 9, 2007 - 8:50 AMCrista,
You know....if you could deliver that very message without anger or appearing snide as well as share the fact that you eat healthy and well and have difficulty keeping weight on...then perhaps that would be even more powerful than saying "shut up".
I have other friends with similar issues - they just have very high metabolisms and it's difficult for them to gain weight.
Personally I hate that phrase "women who like to eat". What about exercise and moderation?? If we eat what is appropriate for our bodies and exercise regularly then we will stay at an appropriate weight for our bodies!! Now that doesn't mean we'll all be perfect but it's a start.
And for what it's worth....you're gorgeous just the way you are. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 10:55 AMthank you so much Angel. you are very sweet, and you are absolutely right. maybe i do need to think up a retort to this stuff ahead of time, so that when i am confronted with it i am prepared, instead of just speechless and hurt. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 2:50 PMwhat would be interesting: make a LIST of retorts to all the things people have already said to/about you. keep the list with you, and next time anyone says something to you like that - whip that puppy out and tell them "just a sec" as you peruse your list of witty retorts. it will probably catch them off-guard and might make them think about saying things like that next time to anyone else.
...or not with some of the more "dense" population. (i tried to keep it positive.) ;-)
this comes from someone on the other end of the scale, who due to an injury and a health issue has gained 50 or so pounds over the past year. i hear things people say about me too. pretty much don't care about it, as i have other things to spend time on, 'ya know? i'll get back down to my 'boyish' figure, the girls will come flocking again, and all will be grand. until then - i thow up the "big W" - whatever!
you rock on with your bad self! pish-tosh on the tongue-waggers!
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, May 29, 2007 - 10:27 AMCrista,
It doesn't even have to be a retort you think of ahead of time. Simply look at the person who says these things and speak from your heart with sincerity.
"I feel really hurt to hear you say that. I have always struggled with keeping my weight up even though I eat plenty and eat healthy. I feel very self-conscious about my size and weight and I'd appreciated it if in the future you'd be more considerate about how you comment on my and other people's size. Not everyone struggles with keeping weight off - some of us struggle the other direction because of our body metabolism."
Never underestimate the power of vulnerable honest to set someone back in their tracks.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Wed, May 9, 2007 - 8:26 PMscientific studies support your position. some people, no matter how hard they try, just can't put on weight (and similarly, overweight people just can't lose weight without suffering from the symptoms of starvation). Perhaps your ruder co-workers are jealous of you. I know some tiny girls who are incapable of putting on weight and we just joke about it. the truth is that you body just has preferences about what it wants to weigh and moving outside of that range is incredibly difficult. When people in the studies I mentioned would eat more/less their metabolisms would decrease/increase sigificantly. So overweight people would get the symptoms of starvation and thin people would not be able to eat enough food to put on and keep on weight.
in any case, at least you have someone standing up for you. hopefully everyone else will get the message. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 11:29 AMyes Chris, i have always had this problem. my parents even used to get questioned about how well they were feeding me as a child. i saw pictures of myself at age 11 or so and i looked like i was starving. i don't remember ever feeling like there was anything wrong though. it was only after i grew up and looked back on the photos that i saw how thin i was.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, May 22, 2007 - 6:26 PMAs a "petite" built man, I feel your pain. I actually DO have to shop in the "boys" department sometimes. They just don't make clothes that fit me well. I've got a lifetime of comments that have been flung at me about how I "need to eat more". And I, too, have experienced people asking if I've lost weight (my weight hasn't significantly changed since I was 14). I find it all just as offensive as talking to an obese person about their issues. At least there's a "big and tall" store for large men, but there's no "Scrawny white-guy" store for me. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 8:11 AMUh................ There's "little guys", but "petite"???? Sorry. Can't do it.
Sorry you have to deal with such things as morons telling you to eat, but people suck, the world over. Morons breed just as readily as everyone else, and they're equally capable of passing on their stupidity genes through behavior, rather than just "genetics".
Just like Crista, you should tell anyone with a problem- "FUCK OFF! Eat your OWN meals!"
Love you, Crista.
T -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 11:34 AMahhh MyShaman. as always you come through for me and actually *say* the words that i am thinking in my head! but see, that's the rub.......i can't be mean like that. even though i feel hurt by it, i can't be a b!tch to them in return because that's just not my nature. i need to find a "nice" way of saying "f*ck off". LOL
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Mon, May 28, 2007 - 12:57 PMRemember, never fight with an idiot in public, passerby's might not be able to tell the difference. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Mon, May 28, 2007 - 3:07 PMHuh? Who's doing anything that's suggestive of "fighting with an idiot in public", or even "fighting with a genius in private", for that matter? If you mean "telling some busybody asshole to mind his(her) own business about someone ELSE's weight or size", I hardly think that's "fighting". It's merely correcting an imbalance in the cosmos, loudly if need be. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, May 29, 2007 - 1:19 AMI was only suggesting that sometimes idiots are better off being left alone. Stupidity is rampant, and getting more pronounced everyday since a higher education is getting further from the common person's grasp. I know what it is like to get the same remarks; I'm 5'10" 130lbs; so I truly understand. I just don't let it affect me for I know we all come in different shapes and sizes. If someone says something like that to me I look inward and realize that they are clearly having problems with their own weight and it's not me. It's the media talking and I just refuse to play their game or eat super-size foods; I'm happy with my weight. Next time try eating something in front of them that you know they couldn't eat. Make it a point to offer them a bite, and listen to their reaction. Then reply, "That's funny, I could eat these all day and not gain a pound," That might shut them up! LOL
Oh, try reading Theodor Ludwig Wiesengrund Adorno (September 11, 1903 – August 6, 1969) was a German sociologist, philosopher, pianist, musicologist, and composer. You can find him on the web, here is a cut and paste from wikepedia.
Adorno's work focuses on art, literature and music as key areas of sensuous, indirect critique of the established culture and petrified modes of thought. The argument, which is complex and dialectic, dominates his Aesthetic Theory, Philosophy of New Music and many other works.
Adorno saw the culture industry as an arena in which critical tendencies or potentialities were eliminated. He argued that the culture industry, which produced and circulated cultural commodities through the mass media, manipulated the population. Popular culture was identified as a reason why people become passive; the easy pleasures available through consumption of popular culture made people docile and content, no matter how terrible their economic circumstances. The differences among cultural goods make them appear different, but they are in fact just variations on the same theme. Adorno conceptualised this phenomenon as pseudo-individualization and the always-the-same. He saw this mass-produced culture as a danger to the more difficult high arts. Culture industries cultivate false needs; that is, needs created and satisfied by capitalism. True needs, in contrast, are freedom, creativity, and genuine happiness.
Kind of sums up a lot of things...
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 11:32 AMyes Tom! what adult wants to shop in the kids section? i always try to make it look like i'm buying a gift for someone else. LOL -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sat, May 26, 2007 - 12:34 PMCrista,
As a lover of petite women, I think its cool that you can buy clothes in the kids section. Accept yourself, enjoy it. That's why we're here in this tribe, right. To celebrate you.
Herb -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sun, May 27, 2007 - 4:08 AMYeah, Herb, we celebrate the petite Ladies here, but I'll tell you a secret-
You are more on the money than you think, and more off base, too.
Huh?
Well, here's the thing- (And Thom, if this is letting the cat out of the bag, PLEASE remove my comment here) there's ANOTHER tribe to celebrate Crista all by her Goddess self! Not for public consumption, however. You must be willing to worship the ground She walks on, and accept whatever scant attention She offers you as "more than I deserve". You must be willing to throw your life away at Her whim, accept Her collect calls, be willing to tolerate other guys who are ahead of you in line to worship, and pummel anyone who looks are Her sideways, to even be considered for membership. Are you prepared????? Most aren't. Oh yeah, and then there's the testosterone-rich "Palace Guard"- we're pretty damned protective of our Queen and WILL emasculate anyone who is less than respectful. Things to think about.........
And NO, I am NOT gonna tell you what the tribe is called. Those worthy figure it out.
Peace
T
P.S. We love ALL you ladies. Crista is just extra special to some of us. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sun, May 27, 2007 - 4:09 AMAnd Crista, you just refer anyone who needs a good verbal whipping to me. I'll set 'em straight.
Love you, dearest Friend.
Always,
T -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sun, May 27, 2007 - 7:20 PM*tackles My Shaman and smooches him all over*
you are awesome Tom!
i am blessed enough to have my own tribe created for me by my close friend Thom. anyone who would like to join is welcome! i do neglect the group once in a while when i get busy, but i try to make it up to them!! LOL -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sun, May 27, 2007 - 8:43 PMThat sounds great. I had no idea. I'm just another fan.
Herb
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, August 21, 2007 - 1:07 AMIt's emberassing to be an adult shopping in the kids section. There. I said it.
In any event, I swoon over petite women. They're the best. But they're usually dating some 6' tall guy.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Thu, September 20, 2007 - 8:11 PMThank you for understanding, your comment means a lot to me.
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Unsu...
Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, August 21, 2007 - 5:34 AMroflmao.
okay crista.
getting straight to the point.
personally I think you have a
perfect body...at least in my eyes.
my heart melts when i see a lovely
gorgeous petite woman such as yourself.
not that it means anything but it's my opinion.
have a wonderfull day girl ;-) -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, August 21, 2007 - 9:42 AMYes, Crista is a "gorgeous, petite woman", and she does have a "PERFECT body". I haven't seen it in person, nor have I seen it in photos unclothed, but let's face it, Her Hottness, Crista, Queen of Petite, is herself perfect, so her body must therefor be, by definition, Perfect. (Disclaimer- this is not to suggest that the presence of Crista's perfect body means there are not many other "perfect" bodies out there. On the contrary, there are many, MANY "perfect" bodies, and they're not all tiny, nor even "thin", just.......... perfect. It's just that for the purposes of today's discussion, Crista's body is not only the body in question, but the PERFECT body in question).
I hope you were all taking notes. There'll be a short quiz after class.
Love you, Doll.
T -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, August 21, 2007 - 11:16 AMas always, My Shaman, you flatter me. love to you as well.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Sat, September 22, 2007 - 8:57 AMAmen Crista! Amen!
I'm not a liitle anything but oh my do people get ideas that are far fetched at least.
I just raved on another thread so I'm hoping that this is a safer place for those of us lookin' tinier than mightier or meatier (love that spelling! ^&*(^%%^&#$!!!) or younger or like kids that we are not. The for crap comments never stop, do they?
Yeah love me, love the whole thing, not just my size. Same thing for the dislike or derision.
Ok, done. But I'm withyou on the does it ever stop???
Best to y'all- Mighty Mouth here! <weg>
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Wed, September 26, 2007 - 10:31 AMWe love our petite ladies! Size 0 is a great number to have! We find you not only very attractive but extremely sexy. Your bodies may be small by American standards but you have many sisters in Europe that also enjoy your frame. Coming from Europe myself, I have often pondered why most American girls are so much larger. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but we have observed that there exist more petite women in Europe. You should be proud of your frame and status as a petite. ENJOY
Master LatexHer -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Wed, September 26, 2007 - 12:23 PMI need to move to Europe. -
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Wed, September 26, 2007 - 7:25 PMits the food.
the foods in the US all dramatically affect women's hormones.- A big reason why there is so much obesity (men/women in US).
I mean, obviously it isn't the case with everybody, but this is what I have seen as a common situation in my work as a nutritionist.
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Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, November 20, 2007 - 6:58 PMhmmm...my experience tells me that when people make comments about others, even to them directly as you are expressing....they are purely people who can't say anything nice, and should just keep their damn mouth shut. My young daughter (12) had several girls at school basically acused her of anorexia..... Yes she is quite slim.....but if you met my mother you'd know where she gets her gene's and her slim physique. I can only imagine what drives a young girl to make such negative statements to another, supposidely a friend. Jealousy? probably. Plus I have met lots of people who enjoy hurting others, which in fact really only hurts themselves.
A few years back, I enjoyed one of the best corporate sponsored courses I have ever had. It was about stress management and relaxation. Well my biggest take home from this course......was the focus point of "not letting others control how I feel about myself". Ok, that's very simple.....but something that I know I can forget.
Others have no power of us, if we don't let them. :)
Enjoy.......life is good.
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Unsu...
Re: ok i need to vent.
Tue, December 18, 2007 - 7:06 PMCrista, don't let them get to you. I looked at your photos, and you are beautiful just as you are. Take a look at my website, therockinghorseguy.com/ look on the "crew" page, and you will see my lovely fiance, Cindy. She has passed away, about 6 months ago, but I remember how it hurt her when people were rude about her body. She was 5'7" and 103 pounds. And beautiful. When you look at those pictures, keep in mind she was 48 years old at the time. She wore a size 00 in pants. Yes, she had to shop in the girl's dept. a lot. And I proudly went shopping there with her. I still have her Tower of London leather corset, that cinched down to an 18" waist. When we walked together, side by side, I could put my arm around her waist and stick my thumb in my belt loop. And people would make comments about her being too thin. She could eat all she wanted, it made no difference. I think that was what angered the big people with the small minds, they were jealous of her metabolism. But her real friends, large or small, all just loved her, and didn't worry about her size. Don't let the small minded people get you down, young lady, be proud of who you are, and wear it well.
